Looking into her eyes is like taking a fresh breath of Josh...

So, it's just one of those days. The days where no matter what you do, it's just blah. I mean, it's actually gorgeous outside and my sweet Bella is taking a nap. I should be enjoying the solitude and busying myself with homework for my masters class (which happens to be terribly boring this time around, educational research…yuck). Really though, all I seem to think about is Josh. When I sleep at night I will wake up suddenly thinking he's there and that is hard to snap out of… I realized, the other day, that whenever I go into a clothing store I always walk down the men's clothing isle first. I grab shirts in Josh's size and picture him wearing them... smell cologne… Yes, I'm basically crazy….because I just miss him. Who does that? I'm sure the store clerks have a mean nickname for me by now but oh well!?

My Bella keeps me on my toes and never seems to let on that she's homesick. She is my light, my little person. Looking into her eyes is like taking a fresh breath of Josh, and for that I adore her. She loves it here in Michigan and stays busy with her doll house (that Nanna Koole bought) and all of the other new goodies at this house. She likes to play games with Poppa Koole and run full speed... no matter where she is going:)

For those of you who don't know, Bella has had a few medical issues (namely Hydrocephalus or fluid on the brain). She was also born seven weeks early and has always been a bit behind in all of her milestones. The doctors have been monitoring her head circumference and at this point it seems to be going down which could indicate the fluid may be re-absorbing back into her body naturally. This is awesome news because the other alternative involved surgery. Praise God. She is now being recommended to see a Developmental Pediatrician because she has trouble communicating and is delayed in a few other areas. Of course, as her mother, I wish only the absolute best for my little one. To me she is perfect in every way. The doctors (at this point) say she could just be catching up, on her own timeline, or have another medical issue that will need to be pinpointed in upcoming visits. So, my heart is heavy at times about how to best care for her, how to help her catch up. We read tons, and work tirelessly on everyday communication. I've decided I'm going to leave the rest in the Lords hands. After all, he created Bella just the way she is and created me to love her endlessly.

I'll keep you all posted on her upcoming visits to the doctors. I will be heading to Norfolk in November to get back together with her caregivers there and really start getting some answers. Or find that there are no answers needed and that Bella is just Bella (on her own timetable)--my sweetness.

The blondness of it all…

This post is dedicated to my husband who finds great enjoyment in my occasional blonde thought patterns:) If you know me well, you have probably already concluded that do not embarrass easily. I find GREAT enjoyment in life's silly moments. In fact, I have recently tested out one of my most favorite antics on family members. You may be embarrassed to even read this but you should totally try it….and yes, I am still 14!

WARNING: You may lose friends doing this...

It goes a little something like this.... When someone bends down to pick something up, make a farting noise (sorry toot) with your mouth as they come back up. Yes, you read it right. Are you turning red??? I apologize, but it is my gift friends, I never received the "embarrassment gene"....my dad's fault I'm sure of it.

On another note, I have compiled a list of "blonde moments' (as I call them). They are spoken statements that one cannot take back that either make no sense, or cause others to look at you in amazement at the blondness of it all. Let us begin…

Annie's List of Shame:
1. Look at that huge windmill, that's great that they are using solar power! (Clearly wind mills use wind power)
2. After Josh has just explained some long and serious theological idea…I interrupt, "Honey, did you see that cow, I think it was pooping…Josh rolls eyes…no really look at that?"
3. So what ever happened with the Revolution, did we win?
4. As my cat is sitting on a radiator (used to heat the house)---"Honey, get the cat off the radiator, it will get radiation poisoning!"
5. Annie asking for a spoon from a male co-worker at a work lunch, "Excuse me, can you spoon me please"
6. Annie (who was a DJ at her college radio station) playing the "lets rhyme words game" over the air…. I won't say the word but I ended using a HUGE curse word. Not a mild one either… a big fat one:(
7. When Josh and I got engaged I was so excited that I swung my purse into an area that will not be named.

Well, that is my short list. There are many more to come I'm sure. If one could only get a glimpse into my mind they would find themselves lost and very scared:)

Annie (still the chaplain's wife)

Why So Serious?

No this isn’t some post on why The Dark Night was a great movie; I just thought that as my last couple of post were pretty serious I would have some fun with this post.

Ok as you know I have about 4 months left in the deployment, well right around this time you’ve gotten use to being out at sea on a war fighting ship and all the stuff that comes along with that. At the same time you begin to dream of the day when some of the more annoying aspect of deployment life will be over. So I began to compile a list and here are a few. If anyone reading this has ever deployed in the Navy on a small boy they will feel the truth of this list.

So just begin each thing listed with the phrase “When I get home I won’t have to….”

1)Hear another freaking whistle (On the ship they blow a whistle over the ship wide speaker system as a signal for everything. It’s time to wake up, it’s time for breakfast, lunch, dinner, it’s time for flight quarters (flying the helicopter), it’s time for this, that, and the other. Always whistles blaring. And not a short little burst but long drawn out “really are you kidding me” whistles. They dig in your ear and rattle your brain until you want to scream)
2)Eat dinner at 4pm (I feel like a geriatric 65 year old cruising up on my hover-round for the blue light special. I can see it now I am going to get home after 7 months out at sea and be dying of starvation because its 5pm and we haven’t had dinner yet)
3)Dream about what carpet feels like (the floors (or decks) on the ship are all what you would normally find in your garage back home. You know that stuff you lay down like paint and then throw in those little plastic chip things in a nice little sporadic type pattern. And on top of it they are all sea blue in color. I mean are you kidding? Is this some kind of sick joke? Not only do we see the sea when we go outside, when we are inside the ship we get to feel like we are out in the ocean because of our beautiful floors. I mean I am all about some Navy pride but come on!!!
4)Take a shower with flip flops on (Yep that’s right, how many people have used that shower in the past week? How……yes all the other questions that come with that. And should you forget your shower shoes you are rewarded with some foot fungus you have never heard of. Oh the joys of community showers)
5)Care if I am showing a “White light topside” (Just before sunset the announcement goes out over the ship wide speaker system that we cannot show any white lights topside. What this means is that almost every light in the ship is switched to its red setting, so you feel like you are walking through a scene in a submarine movie (of course its always the Russians or Nazis who have the really red, sinister lights on). We do this because the red light is harder to be seen by other ships and it allows your eyes to adjust to night vision and be able to stay there.
6)Watch sporting events in 30 sec. burst (Yes the Navy was kind enough to think about the quality of life for their Sailors on deployment, so they put a satellite dish on the ship. The problem is that the Navy doesn’t care that much about quality of life, so they put the satellite dish in a place where you can only kinda get reception and that only if you are sailing in a specific direction. What this means is that you only see short burst of flowing reception and then it freezes and then another short burst of flowing reception and then more freezing. Tiger Woods with a 10ft put for birdie, there is the back swing and (Freeze)……now he is walking off the green. “Wait, did he make it?” and in a few weeks, USC’s quarterback Matt Barkley drops back for a pass (Freeze)……..and they are celebrating in the end zone 70 yards away. “What the crap happened?!?!?!?” And forget about watching the replay because the same thing happens, flow, freeze, flow………turn the ship……NO RECEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh the joys. At least there will be sea stories.

Josh