What is the difference?

Friends,

I try not to get too political on this blog, but some issues go beyond politics.  I may offend some of you, and I secretly hope I do (sweet smile/timid wink).  First, I want you to take 20 minutes of your time (which I know is precious) and watch this video.  I am not pushing my agenda on you because, after all, you are choosing to read/watch what I posted.... and this is totally my opinion.  I just wish for you to view it with an open heart.  It might just break it.

As you know, I am pregnant.  Seeing the images of these innocent victims hurts me.  It makes me want to speak comfort to the unborn (but divinely created) child inside of my womb.  I refuse to call my 13 week old child, a fetus.  It's offensive to me.  

Here's what I believe about what happens inside a pregnant woman's womb (at any gestation).  

Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

God had our ALL of our days ordained for us BEFORE one of them came to be.  Even the babies conceived out of passion, hate, envy, confusion, drunkenness....the list goes on, He knew.  Every moment being planned out by the Creator, God.

If you watched the video, you would have seen images from Dr. Gosnell's late term abortion procedures.  Babies born viable in life, breathing, cooing and then snip.... scissors cut the spinal cord behind the neck as they squirm in pain until they bleed out, brain dead. What!? Does that make you cringe inside?  Why? Well, because there is something inherently wrong with ending such an innocent LIFE.  Little babies fully dependent on us from the moment of conception taken from the earth as quickly as they came.  I cannot bare this thought.

Ok so here's the dilemma friends....why does this story shock us when early term abortions equate to the same ending? It just happens to be on the inside.... they still feel it:(

Praise God for his mercy and miraculous forgiveness.  Many women have walked through the doors of a clinic (probably one more sanitary and professional than this one) and been educated on the simple procedure to remove the "fetus" within them.  What they are not informed about is the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual pain that follows this decision (as you saw from the moms in the video).  I am thankful today for Pregnancy Resource Centers across the globe (like the one my mom runs Alpha Women's Center) that offer these same mothers other options: life, adoption, hope.... and for women who have already walked the path of abortion: Christ's forgiveness.  Let me be clear on this, nothing can seperate us from the love of God, not even abortion.  He offers a new life with a hope that washes away our past, Jesus.

Thanks for listening:) You may not agree with my viewpoint, but it's something to consider.  Why is this doctor getting charged with murder because the infants are killed OUTSIDE the woman's body, at a later gestation?  Why do we charge murderers who kill pregnant women with two counts of murder?

Oh sadness.

While some pregnancy center's offer hope... here's what Planned Parenthood supports:

Makes me sad.

THE BIGGEST SECRET EVER!!

Friends!

We are back! We had to take the blog down to fix some privacy issues but now... put on your big boy/girl panties because we are about to get real ya'll.  Ewe, I just said "ya'll"... blame it on my years in the south.

Want to hear a secret?  You do?  Ok, WE ARE PREGNANT!

I'm bad at keeping secrets you guys, and this one has been eating me alive...no really... I have actually told perfect strangers just to get it off my chest.  Me, "Hey guy at the In N Out window, you wanna know something?"...... Ok, I had to tell him because I had just finished vomiting in their parking lot.  I felt he needed to know that "it was not weird" that I just puked my brains out, then ordered a burger and fries.  Either way, secret is out and I feel great about it!

How it happened: Um, I hope you understand this process?  If you truly have questions about procreation, you may want to call your mom (or a cool aunt if you are embarrassed).

Why did you guys wait so long, you old farts? Well, it's complicated.  Most of our close family and friends know the inner battles Josh and I had with having more kids.  When we first got married we had  created a blue-print for God to follow that went something like this...

Nice couple, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, our children would grow up to be successfully famous, they would produce grandchildren, love the Lord, and Josh and I would die together skipping through a meadow (that is a weird way to die, maybe a rogue herd of cows)?  Sounds like a plan?

God had his own plans: Well, with Bella's early birth at 33 weeks that all changed.  From day one I realized that my blueprints and God's did not match at all!  Instead of mother/daughter bonding, I loved on her through her incubator, I didn't get to breast feed, she didn't come home with me from the hospital, she had fluid on her brain (CT scan city), she didn't meet ANY of her milestones, she screamed all day long, banged her head until bleeding, didn't listen, never had a doctors visit where something went right.... then, AUTISM.  The first two years were a blur honestly.  I watched all my girlfriends pop out multiple children that all seemed to come out perfect...

How God's plans made me feel: At first, I cried out to God.  How could your plans be so vastly different than mine?  Why us?  This life is hard.  Then a change in my heart took place.  I came to know my Father in a real way through my sweet daughter.  Though she was not perfect (and neither was I), He was!  So, I could experience perfection through Jesus.  I wanted Him to be glorified through our Bella.  He knit her in my womb just the way she was meant to be and I thanked Him for it every day.  I stopped being sad, and started to feel proud.  So we waited to hear God's voice, we wanted more kids but didn't feel we could give Bella our "all" while also having another child.  It seems selfish but, Bella needed us too much to have our attentions divided.  That brings us to today.  After much prayer Josh and I felt it was time.  Bella is ready, we are ready, God was ready.

So we did it:) Oh wow, I didn't just type that.  Ok, on that note.... WE ARE HAVING A BABY AHHHHHHHH!

Much love,

The Earls (Josh, Annie, and big sister Bella-girl)

2012... Bella's Miracle Year!

So we've been neglecting this blog a bit and for that we are sorry. In fact, I know that many of you lose sleep at night waiting to hear information from the crazies over here in the Earls house so, this post is for you... you weirdo.

This has been a big year for us:

• We moved from our beloved VA to CA (missing old friends and making new ones)
• We put on our "big boy pants" and bought a house (and as murphy's law would have it, things started breaking immediately so we re-did the kitchen, two bathrooms, put up gutters, and bought a new garage door)
• Josh deployed to Afghanistan as a chaplain to the marines of CLB5 of Camp Pendleton
• As a home owner with a missing husband, I learned to use a lawn mower, power tools, cleaned up dead animals by myself (ok, I asked neighbor to do it), and locked myself out of my house in my bathing suit while Bella was inside
• My deployment roomie Kori and I had way too much fun in Southern CA going to concerts, various beach cities, and sea kayaking.
• I started a group for special needs moms (I love them all dearly)
• I attend a weekly Bible study at church (I love them too)
• We were on the Price is Right (and that turned out ok I guess (wink)... shameless plug here)
• Bella started biomedical treatments for autism and started seeing Dr. Bob Sears
• Josh returned from deployment
• Josh and I celebrated our 9 year anniversary by driving to Monterey, CA...an amazing trip with an amazingly hot man
• We had friends and family over as often as we could and enjoyed the holidays with them as well!
• I am two classes and a semester of student teaching away from my receiving master's in Special Education.
• Oh and our Bella turned four years old!

On the topic of Bella, let me share with you her most recent milestones and progressions: 2012 was a year I will never forget in her precious story.  Bella spoke to us for the first time this year!  When I say "she spoke" I mean, she meaningfully and deliberately communicated her intentions to us.  When she was born I thought we'd never communicate.  If you type in the word autism in a Google search, the results are very scary and can seem pretty hopeless to a new mom or dad.  So, after some tough months of mourning and tears, we chose to remain optimistic.  Since her birth we prayed we would hear our child utter sweet nothings one day (even though some autistic children never do speak verbally).  We believed with all our hearts that God knew this, our greatest desire.  Well, this was her year friends!  About one month after she started biomedical treatments (whether it was the treatments or just her therapies finally working only the Lord knows), she started talking to us.  She would first say, "Ju", then "Juicy", then "I want juice"... then recently it's progressed to, "Mommy, I would like some more juice please":)  She started saying "No" and "Yes" (those are glorious words to hear for us, it helps us know if she wants to do something or not).  Remember, when she was young she would just bang her head to get our attention.  God is so good!  Bella started drinking from real cups (when before she had to drink from a particular kids cup).  She no longer sits in high chairs to eat, she feeds herself, helps bathe herself, helps put clothes on, and often takes them off so she can be naked:), brushes her teeth, rides a kids bike, navigates an Ipad better than we do, writes her name, knows the alphabet forward and backward, counts to 30, knows all the shapes and colors, is potty training, says names of extended family members she misses, and says hello and goodbye to perfect strangers!  Oh, and spontaneously gives us kisses!

When asked how many words she can say, my answer is ... endless... she can really formulate any word she wants.

As I type this I feel like I'm describing someone else's kid, someone else's life....and it overwhelms me with joy! Praise God for 2012.  I loved this year:)