Insult me before you insult a helpless child with autism...

If you know me (Annie), you know it takes a whole lot to offend me or to "ruffle my feathers" so to speak. I was raised in a laid back family where we don't raise our voices, we don't like much conflict at all in fact (it makes us uncomfortable). We are California Koole (I'm so funny). Well insults really do wash away like water, UNLESS they are directed at my child.

I wanted to post this for a couple reasons. First to vent (which is terrible I know, but I love to write so this works for me). I am not complaining, I'm sharing my heart I promise:) Second, to remind anyone who may read this that there is a HUGE lesson to be learned about human kindess and understanding, so here goes:

Bella is Autistic. She's also 2.5 years old. These two factors do not equal "eating out" especially when daddy is out of town doing Chaplain stuff but, sometimes it's nice to try to do something normal you know? Going to a pizza joint sounded easy enough today? Because Bella has a hard time sitting still for more than 4 minutes at a time (and hates to be buckled into anything), the highchair was like prison at our local pizza place. But, that's ok... I had pre-orded a gluten-free/casein-free pizza (from another pizza place mind you) to have ready to eat as soon as we sat down (keeps her occupied with no wait time). The bland pizza was not a huge hit for Bella...per it tasted like poop (I tried, and can confirm). So, I brought various toys, books, ect. It was not working and she was fussing *as per usual when we go out to eat....

..Enter foursome sitting a couple booths away..

These two couples were in their 50's-60's (we'll call them the "Others) I would guess (probably have themselves raised a few children). I, at this point, have already asked for my check at 10 minutes into our meal to make a "smooth get-a-way" with Bells when I hear....

The "Others"- "They have dog muzzles, someone needs to put a muzzle on that child"

This is after numerous DEATH stares and gasps in horror at hearing my daughter cry. I tried to ignore them, I really did. But, when they didn't stop talking about my dearest love in the world...the little person I live and breathe for (who cannot defend herself), I got up and walked over hoping something nice came out.

Me-"Hi, just so you know, my child has a disability so sorry about that" --- pretty nice right?

That is all I said at that point, I was so proud of myself for remaining calm. I turned and walked away and grabbed Bella (while the remarks continued). Then, I reached the hurt point...not for myself...I was hurt for Bella. I grabbed Bella, went back over so they could see her sweet face and said...."Oh, and by the way, next time you talk about putting a dog muzzle on a child, you may want to think twice because they might be autistic".....

To this the "Others" say: "Well, maybe if your child would shut up for one second, we could hear eachother speak"....

....ENTER BLOOD BOILING..... ENTER INNER SCREAMING OF SUPER MEAN THINGS.....ENTER....HEARTBREAK. :(

....Because I was so angry at that point (and I was ready to take someone out), I turned and left the restaurant. I got to the car, gave Bella a big hug and kiss...."it's not your fault baby"...then I cried. I immediately called her Chaplain father who remarked that he was glad it was me that was in the restaurant and not him because, well.....

....Then he said something sweet. He said it wasn't worth it, not even worth the tears or the time. That they were sad, mean people. That I said the right thing and that it doesn't change anything about our girl. He's right.

I write this today because life as a parent of a child with autism is not easy, in fact some days it's down-right tough. Next time you see a child acting out, cut the parent a break. Consider that they may have spent hours that day doing therapy working on tantrums? Consider that their child may have had a couple hour meltdown that was totally inconsolable after therapy? Maybe they are a military family? Who knows their story? Be sensitive. Be Christ-like.

I pray for those people. That their hearts would be softened --- whatever made them so hard must have hurt--- so badly that they needed to insult a helpless child. We move forward better because of this... after all, didn't we insult Christ, and hang him on a cross--- and he was our Savior!

Forgiveness is mine today:)

Annie & Bella