Sunday, March 17, 2013

THE BIGGEST SECRET EVER!!

Friends!

We are back! We had to take the blog down to fix some privacy issues but now... put on your big boy/girl panties because we are about to get real ya'll.  Ewe, I just said "ya'll"... blame it on my years in the south.

Want to hear a secret?  You do?  Ok, WE ARE PREGNANT!

I'm bad at keeping secrets you guys, and this one has been eating me alive...no really... I have actually told perfect strangers just to get it off my chest.  Me, "Hey guy at the In N Out window, you wanna know something?"...... Ok, I had to tell him because I had just finished vomiting in their parking lot.  I felt he needed to know that "it was not weird" that I just puked my brains out, then ordered a burger and fries.  Either way, secret is out and I feel great about it!

How it happened: Um, I hope you understand this process?  If you truly have questions about procreation, you may want to call your mom (or a cool aunt if you are embarrassed).

Why did you guys wait so long, you old farts? Well, it's complicated.  Most of our close family and friends know the inner battles Josh and I had with having more kids.  When we first got married we had  created a blue-print for God to follow that went something like this...

Nice couple, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, our children would grow up to be successfully famous, they would produce grandchildren, love the Lord, and Josh and I would die together skipping through a meadow (that is a weird way to die, maybe a rogue herd of cows)?  Sounds like a plan?

God had his own plans: Well, with Bella's early birth at 33 weeks that all changed.  From day one I realized that my blueprints and God's did not match at all!  Instead of mother/daughter bonding, I loved on her through her incubator, I didn't get to breast feed, she didn't come home with me from the hospital, she had fluid on her brain (CT scan city), she didn't meet ANY of her milestones, she screamed all day long, banged her head until bleeding, didn't listen, never had a doctors visit where something went right.... then, AUTISM.  The first two years were a blur honestly.  I watched all my girlfriends pop out multiple children that all seemed to come out perfect...

How God's plans made me feel: At first, I cried out to God.  How could your plans be so vastly different than mine?  Why us?  This life is hard.  Then a change in my heart took place.  I came to know my Father in a real way through my sweet daughter.  Though she was not perfect (and neither was I), He was!  So, I could experience perfection through Jesus.  I wanted Him to be glorified through our Bella.  He knit her in my womb just the way she was meant to be and I thanked Him for it every day.  I stopped being sad, and started to feel proud.  So we waited to hear God's voice, we wanted more kids but didn't feel we could give Bella our "all" while also having another child.  It seems selfish but, Bella needed us too much to have our attentions divided.  That brings us to today.  After much prayer Josh and I felt it was time.  Bella is ready, we are ready, God was ready.

So we did it:) Oh wow, I didn't just type that.  Ok, on that note.... WE ARE HAVING A BABY AHHHHHHHH!

Much love,

The Earls (Josh, Annie, and big sister Bella-girl)