Friday, May 21, 2010

"It was hard to look him in the face"-Saying goodbye to my hubby

What's up peeps!?
*This is the first time I've ever blogged thus, I thought it prudent to start off with a "bang-of-an-opening-line"...Peeps is a real word you know...ok, serious time:

Josh asked if I would like to be a part of his blog for two reasons. First, he wanted to be able to keep up with Bella and I each day (he can't get on Facebook and can only view videos in certain formats); and second, he wanted to allow our loved ones to follow us on this journey that is "deployment". So, here goes:

Last night I couldn't sleep. Mostly, because I could hear my groom breathing beside me and I wanted to take in every second I could with him before the next day began (even if he was asleep). I also couldn't sleep, because of the jets flying over our house all night (you would think we lived in a combat zone). Regardless, the sun rose, and Josh had already gotten up. It was honestly hard to even look him in the face. Every time I tried, I could see the pain in his eyes and it made me tear up. I tried following my morning routine but the fact that he was about to leave me (us) for seven months was looming. Thank God that Bella decided to sleep in this morning because seeing Josh have to say goodbye to her would be too much for us both. He kissed her goodbye in her sleep which was perfect. He was all packed up, said goodbye to his mom and we headed out. On the drive to base I lost it, thankfully Josh brought a kitchen towel to wipe our tears (who brings a towel for tears...only a dude...). I dropped him off at his ship and just tried to be strong for him because he needed to go directly to the ship to start working. We said goodbye and that was the last time I held my husband. I'm glad I just wrote it down. It's not as if he died but I want to remember what I was thinking just then:)

I brought Bella and Carol back with me to watch the ship take off from the port. We got to see him standing in attention, pulling away from us. He looked so handsome, I've never been so proud.

There you go. It has begun.

The only thing that I can do now is trust God's will and his amazing grace/love which he lavishes on us all day long...

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13


  1. Annie...I TEARED UP reading this! I am keeping you and Joshie and little Bells in my prayers; that God keeps you all safe for a brilliant reunion in seven months! I'm here Anne, call me anytime (when I get back to the US Monday) and I'll see you next weekend!!!!

    Love you.

  2. Beautifully written! We are here if you need us!

  3. Peeps! I love it! It's what I call my pts (in private, of course!) =) Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! Carol said she wanted to sing 'Anchors Away'....I think she should have! It would have been amazing! lol! May I leave you with a verse Cody & I share. "Be strong & courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua (yes, Joshua!) 1:9
    Love you & look forward to hearing from you & Josh.

  4. That was beautiful and painful to read! I was crying along....

    Chris and I are praying for you, Josh and Bells every step of this journey. We love you and know that God will sustain each of you in the way you need. Love you! Let's talk soon :)

  5. Annie, what a wonderful idea. I loved reading about your experience. I am praying for you and your family. Do you have plans on going back home while he is gone?

  6. So sweet, Annie! I'm sure this blog will be a wonderful testament for Bella to read someday. Thanks for sharing!