"Home is where the heart is"...
I've found, in this short time that Josh has been away, that his voice is home to me. When he left, it felt like a piece of me was missing. I've explained this to a friend like the feeling you get when you go through your first break up. That dull and painful ache of knowing that you have been cut off from something you adore. In my case, I still get him back in the end though:) Yesterday was one of those days that I wished I could just call him and tell him how hard my day was (as if this would make anything better). As if "just telling him" would magically transform days of frustration. Most of the emails I had sent Josh weren't getting to him and his emails weren't getting to me. I felt like I was sending out emails to the vast abyss with no response and I was trying to not equate this to Josh "just not responding".
Thankfully, God is good. I went to bed for a few nights praying for mercy and joy (I literally fell asleep praying) and woke up still praying (ever had that happen)? Why is it that we wait until we are dead tired to try to speak to our creator? Doesn't He deserve more than our last second of consciousness? Well He does, of course, but thankfully He knows we are weak and selfish-yet still blesses us with his mercy and joy. I woke up and felt joy. I later received a call from Josh that rejuvenated my soul. Lesson learned: I must rely on God for joy, not Josh's voice (as wonderful as it is).
Really, everything that belongs to us on earth is really not ours. Josh and Bella are on loan to me from above:)
On a brighter note, I love my family and Josh's too! Without nanny's, poppa's, and all of the Koole and Earls siblings, I would be sitting alone somewhere trying to make money on the streets. he, he, he.
On an even brighter note, Bella decided to dig out some of her "poopoo" and smear it all over the crib the other day. It was awesome! No really, I think it was hysterical and it kinda made my day better---yes, I said it---poop brightened my day.
Thanks for listening:)