Since deciding to "try for another child" I have been overcome with the fear of the "what if's?"....
What if we can't get pregnant again?
What if we DO get pregnant again?
What if I am unable to carry another child to term?
What if Bella reacts negatively to a sibling?
What if I am not strong enough as a mother of two?
The list could literally go on for days and I've come to the sad conclusion that my list of "what if's" was a general lack of faith in God's concern for the "little prayers". Well, once I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, I began praying out my little prayers. I was almost embarrassed to approach the throne of God with such meager requests....but then I remembered what the Bible says,
Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
I am not naive to the fact that God is the ultimate authority on the the happenings of my life. After all, He is the orchestrator of life and death and what comes and goes between the two. I prayed for a healthy baby in Bella, and I received our Bella early, with complications, and later with autism....to God be the glory. My prayers were not answered in the way I had formulated them in my heart. My Father however, knowing that Josh and I were created for a child like Bella, in all actuality gave us a "special gift" we had not the words to ask for. I cherish her.
So, that leads me to Sunday.... October 13, 2013. The day our sweet Adeline was born. She is now one week old and I wanted to share how God cherished and granted the "little" requests that were buried deep in my heart.
I prayed for a safe pregnancy, and it was granted.
I prayed for energy to continue to be Bella's mom and it was granted.
I prayed for the fear of an early delivery to be taken away, and it was granted.
I prayed for a child full term, and she arrived fully formed.
I prayed for a fast and "easy" (ha!) delivery, and it was fast and furious and as easy and I could imagine a birth going.
I prayed for a healthy little girl, and Adeline was healthy.
I prayed that I would be able to breast feed, and I am doing it!
I prayed that when Bella met Adeline, she would be calm and joyful....and it was so.
I prayed that Bella would not regress due to the presence of our sweet Adeline, and she has not.
God you are so good.
I am cherishing the lack of sleep and quiet family moments we are having at the Earls house. My husband is a rock and there is something super sexy about a man doing all of the household chores:)
Meet Adeline Mary Earls |
I wanted to also include a beautiful song I found this week which has been such a blessing to my heart as a new mother. It's a rendition of the Lord's Prayer (the most beautiful one I've ever heard).