Thursday, October 10, 2013

Boasting in my weakness...

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

As I sit here, only a week (or so) away from giving birth to my second little girl, I reflect on the goodness of Christ's grace on my family.  This pregnancy has been a blessing (well, I could do without vomiting and generally being as large as a whale but I digress).  We waited over four years after giving birth to Bella to "try again" to bring a new life into this world.  I was so fearful to divide my attentions away from Bella's "special need".  I felt ill-equipped and weak.  God broke down those walls of insufficiency and placed a desire for another child on not only my heart but Josh's as well.  I am human therefore I was still tempted throughout this pregnancy to doubt God's providence in this new little life.  I doubted I could carry to term (which I now have, praise God).  I doubted the health and development of her little body within me.  Right now, I am praying through my fear of giving birth again and having complications like we did with Bella.

I sometimes doubt whether Adeline will be a typical developing child, and whether or not she too will have autism.

Goodness, I am a worrier....

But, God is so much bigger than my doubt.  When I feel these feelings I am reminded of the verses in the Bible that speak of a tender and careful Creator.  A Creator who plans all things in advance for the good of his people, even disabilities.  Bella is perfect the way she is and Adeline will be as well, no matter what!

Today I prayed that Adeline and Bella would become kindreds.  That they would share a supernatural bond.  That Bella would love her sister and feel a connection that could break down the walls of autism for the rest of her life.  I prayed also that Adeline would love her sister blamelessly, that she would have an extra ounce of patience and admiration for Bells.  I praise God in advance for hearing and answering these prayers. 

Motherhood is such a blessing, I still feel so unworthy! I am imperfect, yet God always seems to use the less than qualified to bring Him here goes nothing.  Pray that I sneeze and the baby pops out...hey, it could happen?  Stinkin' Eve.

Adeline's Nursery!

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