Thursday, October 21, 2010
"Who will pull you from your pit?" -- Deployment is not always super fun….
If you've had a rough day, or week, or year... consider that you are not alone:
This is the experience of King David in Psalm 40:1-3:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock, making my step secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord".
David is in despair spiritually. He is looking forward to the new mercies or the "song of praise" to come. He writes about being in despair more vividly in Psalm 69:1-2:
"Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters and the flood sweeps over me". Clearly David is not physically drowning. He's drowning spiritually and emotionally like we do today when we are stressed, or sick, or lose a loved one. We feel there is no where to turn so we turn to God.
John Piper (author/pastor) comments on David and these verses by saying,
"Then comes the king's cry: "I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined and heard my cry." One of these reasons God loved David so much was that he cried so much. "I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping" (Ps. 6:6). "You have kept count of my tossing; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" (Ps. 56:8). Indeed they are! "Blessed are those who mourn" (Matt. 5:4). It is a beautiful thing when a broken man genuinely cries out to God. Then after the cry you wait. "I waited patiently for the Lord." This is crucial to know: saints who cry to the Lord for deliverance from the pits of darkness must learn to wait patiently for the Lord. There is no statement about how long David waited…Oh, that we might learn to be patient in the hour of darkness…We fight for joy. But we fight as those who are saved by grace and held by Christ." (When Darkness Will Not Lift, by John Piper).
I read all of this and feel like I have nothing to complain about in my life. Still, I am human and I do get down sometimes. On that note, I think it's amazing how my husband seems to know when I need to hear his voice.
Many of you who know me always comment, "Annie, are you always so positive?" or "Do you ever get frustrated?"… well, if you would have seen me a couple days ago, you could have answered those questions for yourself. I have the occasional breakdown or "pity-party for myself" every so often. This last one included a little bathroom cry session. You know, the crying that you hope no one hears or sees because you just can't seem to compose yourself (and your face gets all swollen like you just got punched). Yep, that was me the other day, then Josh called. He has a "husband radar" that I don't quite understand but am fully thankful for…
It was a day where I was really suffering from terrible back pains (which seem to be in full gear during this deployment). I was also feeling like a failing mother. After being slapped, had yogurt thrown in my hair and all over the walls, and dealing with a little girl who could not be pleased, I just felt like I was doing "motherhood" all wrong. I love my Bella more than I could ever describe but, I think the reality of being without Josh just hit me that day. I don't want to fail him as Bella's mommy. Bella is developing a little slower than most her age so she doesn't quite understand everything I tell her or ask her to do… OR she chooses not to listen;) I feel like Josh's calm presence could solve all of my problems sometimes. But, then I realized that God gave me all of the tools (within myself) to get through this time of being without Josh. After all, he equips us each morning with new mercies. I believe these mercies are real and I consider then little miracles… if I didn't, I'd still be crying in the bathroom right now:) The next day, Bella woke up laughing and smiling and seemed to listen to me ALL DAY LONG. For those of you reading this who don't have children… prepare yourself to be humbled DAILY! It's amazing and worth it I assure you.
Moral of this story: Everyone gets down. Some over big stuff and some over little stuff…the question remains, "Who will pull you from your pit?" I can tell you, no one can really dig out from your sorrows besides God.
Gosh, that was a happy post! ;)