So the days of deployment are growing short and I will be back at home early next week. I have been away about 7 months and in my mind things have remained the same at home, kind of frozen in time.
Of course I know that's not true. Alot has changed. Bella is now 2 years old (she was 18 months when I left), she has been diagnosed with Autism, and Annie has been a single parent for 7 months. (Oh and Annie just turned 30, so I am coming home to an old woman!)
I find myself thinking "was this worth it" was time away from family worth. Was it worth not being there to help raise my daughter, or was it worth missing the painful news that Bella is Autistic? To tell you the truth if you asked me these questions when I found out that Bella has Autism I would have said no, HECK NO!!! (or imagine any other word).
But thinking about it now, I think both Annie and I would say yes! Over these past 7 months we have both had the opportunity to see the Lord work in amazing ways in our lives. We have had the chance to minister to others in need and to be ministered to by others. This is what life is about and where real meaning in life is found!
For the past 7 years of my life I have been married to the most amazing and wonderful woman in the world, and with her I have learned what it means to rely upon God, what it means to truly believe the promises of God. "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28). "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." (John 6:35). "And behold, I am with you always even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)
So is it worth it? YES! Because in the pain we learn to rely upon God and His promises. When we are stripped from all the things that we have relied upon we begin to see what we truly put our trust in. And when we see, feel, experience Christ meeting us in our pain and redeeming it through love, and ministry to and from others, our faith in Him is strengthened. For all these reasons it is worth it to risk a light momentary affliction.