Sometimes I wonder about my woman-hood.
THAT I DON'T DO THAT I SHOULD...
1. Cut coupons. Ok people, I know they can help me save money but, all I want to do with them is throw them away or tear them up with my teeth like a wild beast. Like when I go to the store and get my receipt and it takes 4 minutes to print out coupons for random things I don't buy (aka butt cream)....I want to just run. I know, it's so bad. I'm a bad woman.
2. Follow recipes well. I burn stuff. I try so hard and get really excited about recipes but when they don't turn out, all I want to do is throw the pan against the wall. I'm great at "crock potting"--- that sounds bad. First time I cooked for Josh I set the pan on fire and set the deck on fire for that matter. No big deal.
3. Wear matching socks. I don't ok!? All you freaks out there who have to have matching EVERYTHING...this one's for you. I'm laid back, what can I say. Yah, I'll rock one brown and one dark grey sock, who's going to stop me? That's what I thought. P.S. I don't match my purse either. Eat it.
4. Like Tea. I hate it. I am clearly not English.
5. Woman as President? No. I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this but it's true. All you women out there who want to fight me on this...please don't. I think men are more stable and generally better decision makers. Maybe what I really mean is...I should not be President, because if I was, Cheez-Its would be free and Red Vines would grow on trees.
THINGS I DO-DO THAT I SHOULDN'T... (I said do-do)
1. Like the show "Top Gear"- it's an English show about cars. It's clearly manly and I'm totally addicted. It's pretty nerdy. I've tried to stop but I think the English accents have sucked me in and I can no longer fight it. My husband loves it...
2. Watch Golf on TV. I'm kinda in love with watching golf and golfers for that matter. I have done some investigation into my past as to why I have such an odd love for the game... I blame it on my father mostly...for watching HOURS of golf. Now that I think about it, I also love the smell of fresh cut grass...well, and gasoline. I have issues.
3. Pick up people off the street. Since having Bella, I've tried to not do this (for her safety) but I'm a sucker for picking up people off the streets when it's raining or hot because I feel bad for them.
4. Eat Nutella like it's my job. If I could bathe in Nutella, I would. Not kidding.
5. Slap butts like a baseball player. It's not appropriate. Sorry if you have been a victim. I literally cannot stop it.
I'm sorry in advance for the thoughts you are having about me. Josh, are you embarrassed to be married to me at this point?